All the Pretty Horse Whisperers

Today I was reminded ONCE AGAIN of my inadequacies when it comes to the realm of cool.

I was emailing back and forth with my lovely James Hetfield lovin', Greek goddess friend who is based in London (weep!), and we started discussing how I really needed to somehow acquaint myself with James Franco. We mused, as we often do in tangential form, about how I would just happen to position myself on NYU campus, and what I would just happen to be wearing (a t-shirt with a shark eating a kitten, maybe, but like, really tight), but then the tricky part of starting a conversation came up. What makes me a rather terrible New Yorker in many ways is that I am somewhat shy when it comes to initiating dialogue. That said, I am a great New Yorker in that I can ignore anyone. However, I shall not be ignoring James.

I dislike the notion of striking up a conversation with a celebrity by starting with their "work". The thought alone makes me cringe with embarrassment. I think there is a Dutch term for embarrassment felt for someone else in a cringe-worthy situation. (Pipe in any Dutch readers out there.) So, Greek Goddess and I were running through IMDB with all the possible film references I could make to James, and then exhausted and overwhelmed I suggested "I thought you were great in Batman."

And then I didn't hear from my friend for a spell. Dead silence. Crickets.

Finally, she broke with silence with "Apologies for the condescending geek that I am but it's Spider-Man if you're referring to Franco. Oh I hang my head in shame at correcting you. Besides there is only one James that earns the right to giant, bold font and that is The Mighty Het."

Bless.